i received this email day before yesterday.
this boy has got his marriage fixed with a girl. he wants to fall in love with her.
he says she is not the one he always imagined his wife to be.
now how can he reprogram his mind to find great things about that girl.
will see what happens..
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
become a magnet
want people to feel attracted towards you.
there is very easy technique. just take interest in their life, their choices and even their joy and sorrow.
see how different you feel them and how differently they respond.
prince gera
there is very easy technique. just take interest in their life, their choices and even their joy and sorrow.
see how different you feel them and how differently they respond.
prince gera
remove your guilt
hello
i just had a wonderful session.
the fellow had a strange hate towards women.
we both remained awestruck when we came across the reason.
you never know what your mind shows.
finally he could detect the problem and get rid of it.
prince gera
i just had a wonderful session.
the fellow had a strange hate towards women.
we both remained awestruck when we came across the reason.
you never know what your mind shows.
finally he could detect the problem and get rid of it.
prince gera
Friday, June 25, 2010
haunting past
thats one of the area where a lot of people spend major time.
can you get anything out of it.
i agree you have done wrong in the past and now you feel bad to remember it.
it can be a failed relationship or even a bad business plan.
so what whatever you was an experiment that has helped you to learn more and grow wisely.
just get the best of it and live the moment you are in.
learn from the past and move with the present towards a wonderful career.
prince gera
can you get anything out of it.
i agree you have done wrong in the past and now you feel bad to remember it.
it can be a failed relationship or even a bad business plan.
so what whatever you was an experiment that has helped you to learn more and grow wisely.
just get the best of it and live the moment you are in.
learn from the past and move with the present towards a wonderful career.
prince gera
thanks a ton everyone
i owe my thanks to all the students of 2010 batch who came a get togehter on friday 18th june 2010 at cia campus.
my special thanks to manoj kumar, sanjay behl and their team for organising everything.
hope everyone had fun
prince gera
my special thanks to manoj kumar, sanjay behl and their team for organising everything.
hope everyone had fun
prince gera
i want success.!!!
you keep pink color in your mind. go to market and now let me know what color you see in stores.
i am sure pink.
hasnt it happend to you before.
when you planned your car or even to paint your house.
you starting finding that car model very much road or even noticed people getting their house painted.
thats it.
you will see only what you have in your mind.
now see and write what you want in your life, i am sure success. success that will lead you to comfort and that comfort will give you happiness.
what an irony.
you want happiness in life as the final essence of your success and at the same time you have worry in your mind.
this worry is leading you to anxiety and restlessness.
and when you have worry in your mind all the time what do you see..?
i am sure you have got the answer.
prince gera
i am sure pink.
hasnt it happend to you before.
when you planned your car or even to paint your house.
you starting finding that car model very much road or even noticed people getting their house painted.
thats it.
you will see only what you have in your mind.
now see and write what you want in your life, i am sure success. success that will lead you to comfort and that comfort will give you happiness.
what an irony.
you want happiness in life as the final essence of your success and at the same time you have worry in your mind.
this worry is leading you to anxiety and restlessness.
and when you have worry in your mind all the time what do you see..?
i am sure you have got the answer.
prince gera
gain confidence, remove fears or even lose weight
Going on Holiday? Does the Prospect of the Flight Terrify You?
I was recently approached by a girl who had suffered from a severe fear of water for most of her life. Her words bore some familiar hallmarks: she was skeptical as to whether I could help.
Besides being unable to get in water with her family on holidays, her fear could be triggered by watching water falls or by merely thinking of going in water.
. More and more people are turning to hypnosis as it is a natural and normal process, and it works. Below are some typical answers to allay some of the fears, mystery and myths surrounding hypnosis.
What is hypnosis? It's an altered state of awareness which allows us to contact a relaxed, responsive state of mind.
Shall I be aware of what's happening?Yes, the predominant feeling of most people is It didn't work for me, I was only very relaxed. You too, will feel very relaxed.
So, I am not asleep then? No, you are extremely relaxed, similar to the moment before you fall asleep at night.
If I'm aware and relaxed could I be influenced to do anything against my will or nature? No, in fact you would be shocked out of the relaxed state immediately any such action was suggested to you. It is inconceivable that any harm could befall on an individual. You are fully in control and will hear everything that is said to you. Indeed, the centuries-old technique of hypnosis is being used increasingly as an adjunct to orthodox medicine, relieving stress and controlling pain.
Are there some people you cannot hypnotise? Most people can change state, some more easily than others. However, I don't treat people who are under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
How many visits will I need? depends maximum can be 7-8.
So why is it so successful? When you are relaxed the critical part of your conscious mind has relaxed too. Our conscious mind is the part which is logical, analytical and intellectual. We bypass this critical factor to access your imagination and creativity. This is your unconscious mind. The therapist then gives the unconscious mind positive suggestions for your well being. This enables you to achieve greater self-awareness which enables you to tap into your own inner resources.
How can hypnosis help? The following conditions and symptoms can be successfully treated:
Anxiety, Eating Disorders, Stress Migraines, Insomnia,
Relaxation, Fear of Flying, Lack of Self Confidence, Blushing,
Shy Bladder, Paranoia, Slimming, Smoking, Nail Biting,
Childhood Trauma, Social Fears, Nervousness,
Post Natal Depression,
Guilt, IBS, Allergies, Exam Nerves,
Phobias, Self Esteem, Panic Attacks,memory gain, concentration increase
Sports Motivation and Achievement,
Goal Setting, Panic Attacks, Grief,
and many more...
prince gera
hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner
I was recently approached by a girl who had suffered from a severe fear of water for most of her life. Her words bore some familiar hallmarks: she was skeptical as to whether I could help.
Besides being unable to get in water with her family on holidays, her fear could be triggered by watching water falls or by merely thinking of going in water.
. More and more people are turning to hypnosis as it is a natural and normal process, and it works. Below are some typical answers to allay some of the fears, mystery and myths surrounding hypnosis.
What is hypnosis? It's an altered state of awareness which allows us to contact a relaxed, responsive state of mind.
Shall I be aware of what's happening?Yes, the predominant feeling of most people is It didn't work for me, I was only very relaxed. You too, will feel very relaxed.
So, I am not asleep then? No, you are extremely relaxed, similar to the moment before you fall asleep at night.
If I'm aware and relaxed could I be influenced to do anything against my will or nature? No, in fact you would be shocked out of the relaxed state immediately any such action was suggested to you. It is inconceivable that any harm could befall on an individual. You are fully in control and will hear everything that is said to you. Indeed, the centuries-old technique of hypnosis is being used increasingly as an adjunct to orthodox medicine, relieving stress and controlling pain.
Are there some people you cannot hypnotise? Most people can change state, some more easily than others. However, I don't treat people who are under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
How many visits will I need? depends maximum can be 7-8.
So why is it so successful? When you are relaxed the critical part of your conscious mind has relaxed too. Our conscious mind is the part which is logical, analytical and intellectual. We bypass this critical factor to access your imagination and creativity. This is your unconscious mind. The therapist then gives the unconscious mind positive suggestions for your well being. This enables you to achieve greater self-awareness which enables you to tap into your own inner resources.
How can hypnosis help? The following conditions and symptoms can be successfully treated:
Anxiety, Eating Disorders, Stress Migraines, Insomnia,
Relaxation, Fear of Flying, Lack of Self Confidence, Blushing,
Shy Bladder, Paranoia, Slimming, Smoking, Nail Biting,
Childhood Trauma, Social Fears, Nervousness,
Post Natal Depression,
Guilt, IBS, Allergies, Exam Nerves,
Phobias, Self Esteem, Panic Attacks,memory gain, concentration increase
Sports Motivation and Achievement,
Goal Setting, Panic Attacks, Grief,
and many more...
prince gera
hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
cheating in love
case 3
he met her in a party. she was gorgeous. he approached her and started a conversation. he started dating her and liked her company.
after spending sometime together he started feeling very mushy.
the good days began. the best part of life began. late night talks, promises, swears and ice cream treats and even gifts.
faith gained on both the sides.
now they went physical. both had the best time of their life. everytime was a new pleasure....
time passed. just like the way you feel for your new car after some months or how the tea tastes you when just had a candy. its tasteless.
he doesnt enjoy her anymore. as he feels saturated. he wants something new may be for an hour a day to keep his life exciting.
he starts dating someone else secretly and now the old one sounds boring.
late night talks are cut to minutes and minutes into long arguments of complain and ignorance.
the more they fight, the more he feels close the new girl.
he wants to tell the old one how he feels now but is afraid of breaking her heart.
he hides from new one and lives in stress.
he doesnt want to break her heart and carry a guilt in him for the rest of his life.
and if he doesnt tell her he is actually feeling more guilt about it.
the point is even if he lives the last one, can he leave that guilt.
or even if he goes back to her can he get the same thrill back. the thrill which he had in him the day he met her for the first time.
can he feel the same about her. can he be refreshed and remove all experiences from his mind. so that he can feel the same thrill in his mind every time he meets her.
if it happens then nothing like that. because the other option seems useless. today he is looking for other option tommorow he will look for another option. or there is a possiblity that the girl will look for another option as she also feels that the thrill is missing.
sometimes in such cases i have seen. the boy develops are fear in his heart that if he has cheated a girl in past. why cant his present partner cheat on him. this fear leads towards stress and suspect. it further lead the other partner to cheat.
his mind can be reprogrammed. the way his mind learned in the same pattern his mind can unlearn also.
he can feel the same excitement once again with this life partner.
he just need to be ready to have it back..
he met her in a party. she was gorgeous. he approached her and started a conversation. he started dating her and liked her company.
after spending sometime together he started feeling very mushy.
the good days began. the best part of life began. late night talks, promises, swears and ice cream treats and even gifts.
faith gained on both the sides.
now they went physical. both had the best time of their life. everytime was a new pleasure....
time passed. just like the way you feel for your new car after some months or how the tea tastes you when just had a candy. its tasteless.
he doesnt enjoy her anymore. as he feels saturated. he wants something new may be for an hour a day to keep his life exciting.
he starts dating someone else secretly and now the old one sounds boring.
late night talks are cut to minutes and minutes into long arguments of complain and ignorance.
the more they fight, the more he feels close the new girl.
he wants to tell the old one how he feels now but is afraid of breaking her heart.
he hides from new one and lives in stress.
he doesnt want to break her heart and carry a guilt in him for the rest of his life.
and if he doesnt tell her he is actually feeling more guilt about it.
the point is even if he lives the last one, can he leave that guilt.
or even if he goes back to her can he get the same thrill back. the thrill which he had in him the day he met her for the first time.
can he feel the same about her. can he be refreshed and remove all experiences from his mind. so that he can feel the same thrill in his mind every time he meets her.
if it happens then nothing like that. because the other option seems useless. today he is looking for other option tommorow he will look for another option. or there is a possiblity that the girl will look for another option as she also feels that the thrill is missing.
sometimes in such cases i have seen. the boy develops are fear in his heart that if he has cheated a girl in past. why cant his present partner cheat on him. this fear leads towards stress and suspect. it further lead the other partner to cheat.
his mind can be reprogrammed. the way his mind learned in the same pattern his mind can unlearn also.
he can feel the same excitement once again with this life partner.
he just need to be ready to have it back..
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
doubt in relationship
i come across many couples who complain me about their partners posessiveness and some even compain about how unfaithful there partners are.
case1: she should not talk to boys or should not even make an id on social networking sites?
"why" i asked
"i dont like it" the answer came
"why dont you like it" he said
"still, there must be a reason you dont like it for" i asked
"why she needs to speak to someone, am not i sufficient" he replied
"you are very much sufficient and since she lives in a society she is bound to speak to many others too. talking to others doesnt mean that she wants to be with all of them" i asked
"but not with boys" he said
"why not boys" i asked
"boys take advantage of girls, they are not good and they use dumb girls like her" he said
"how do you know that" i asked
"i know" he said
"how" i asked
"i have seen many cases" he said
"you have many cases or you also do like that" i asked
"no i dont do that but i know it happens" he said
"has something happend in the past" i asked
"no, not really" he answered
"see even if a boy approaches her for a relationship she will refuse him. being good looking or attractive is not a crime and is not even her mistake. if a boy approaches she will simply say i am commited. " i said
"no, boys are clever they know how to flatter. she will agree when they will convince her" he said
"how can you be so sure" i asked
"because i also have convinced many" he said
here he is. since he has been like this always. he also assumes other boys to be like that only.
he assumes other boys would also be a flirt like him who tries a hand on almost everyone.
it is not neccessarly in all cases.
may be he has not done anything in the past but has seen his friends doing this.
or he has seen this happening to his friends.
or he has seen this in a movie or read a book.
he has experienced in last relationship
or the girl has already done it in the past.
so in all cases there was a "FEAR" controlling this relationship.
he required severe change in his thinking patterns because of continous flow of negative thoughts he find his partner highly unfaithful.
case 2
he likes her.
she is a flirt and he has caught her many times flirting around with others.
when he cross questions her she swears on him and convinces him.
things become normal after some hours or days fight.
he shouts on her and abuses her then he only calls her says sorry.
he loves her but at the same time he doubts on her. when this doubts comes in his mind he hates her again.
she is always in his mind and he keeps checking her minute after minute. when she says are you spying on me he says i care for you.
he doesnt know why she flirts.
he says he will feel very relaxed when she admits that she is a cheat. he is only waiting and slogging this relationship till the day she confesses about her relationship with someone else.
he is living a life full of stress. he is compulsory obsessed with her.
he wants to be with her but has no faith on her. as there has been many incidents in the past and now his faith is in shrecks.
he doesnt know what to do? he lives his life in pain. this pain is more than 1000 bone fractures but is not visible anywhere on the body.
we need to find out where it started from.
why did he like a flirt.
is he a flirt too.
how does he think that every time she talks to a boy, she flirts.
why does he think that she will get into a new relation
on top of all what does he want?
he wants to be happy.
and he wants her to live with him happily.
can she live happily with him when he is so unhappy
he needs a severe change in his living pattern.
he has to become a happy man.
believe me you attract happy people around you only if you are happy.
prince gera
case1: she should not talk to boys or should not even make an id on social networking sites?
"why" i asked
"i dont like it" the answer came
"why dont you like it" he said
"still, there must be a reason you dont like it for" i asked
"why she needs to speak to someone, am not i sufficient" he replied
"you are very much sufficient and since she lives in a society she is bound to speak to many others too. talking to others doesnt mean that she wants to be with all of them" i asked
"but not with boys" he said
"why not boys" i asked
"boys take advantage of girls, they are not good and they use dumb girls like her" he said
"how do you know that" i asked
"i know" he said
"how" i asked
"i have seen many cases" he said
"you have many cases or you also do like that" i asked
"no i dont do that but i know it happens" he said
"has something happend in the past" i asked
"no, not really" he answered
"see even if a boy approaches her for a relationship she will refuse him. being good looking or attractive is not a crime and is not even her mistake. if a boy approaches she will simply say i am commited. " i said
"no, boys are clever they know how to flatter. she will agree when they will convince her" he said
"how can you be so sure" i asked
"because i also have convinced many" he said
here he is. since he has been like this always. he also assumes other boys to be like that only.
he assumes other boys would also be a flirt like him who tries a hand on almost everyone.
it is not neccessarly in all cases.
may be he has not done anything in the past but has seen his friends doing this.
or he has seen this happening to his friends.
or he has seen this in a movie or read a book.
he has experienced in last relationship
or the girl has already done it in the past.
so in all cases there was a "FEAR" controlling this relationship.
he required severe change in his thinking patterns because of continous flow of negative thoughts he find his partner highly unfaithful.
case 2
he likes her.
she is a flirt and he has caught her many times flirting around with others.
when he cross questions her she swears on him and convinces him.
things become normal after some hours or days fight.
he shouts on her and abuses her then he only calls her says sorry.
he loves her but at the same time he doubts on her. when this doubts comes in his mind he hates her again.
she is always in his mind and he keeps checking her minute after minute. when she says are you spying on me he says i care for you.
he doesnt know why she flirts.
he says he will feel very relaxed when she admits that she is a cheat. he is only waiting and slogging this relationship till the day she confesses about her relationship with someone else.
he is living a life full of stress. he is compulsory obsessed with her.
he wants to be with her but has no faith on her. as there has been many incidents in the past and now his faith is in shrecks.
he doesnt know what to do? he lives his life in pain. this pain is more than 1000 bone fractures but is not visible anywhere on the body.
we need to find out where it started from.
why did he like a flirt.
is he a flirt too.
how does he think that every time she talks to a boy, she flirts.
why does he think that she will get into a new relation
on top of all what does he want?
he wants to be happy.
and he wants her to live with him happily.
can she live happily with him when he is so unhappy
he needs a severe change in his living pattern.
he has to become a happy man.
believe me you attract happy people around you only if you are happy.
prince gera
how to propose her/him
a boy asked me that he wants to propose a girl.
i asked proposed for what?
"i want to tell her what i feel about her" he replied.
"what do you feel" i aksed
"i really like her and want to be with her for some time, may be a coffee or something" he said
"go ahead and tell her, that you like her and you want to treat her with a coffee" i replied
"what if she reacts bad" he said
"why will she react bad" i asked
"she will think cheap of me and will think that i am a bad boy who is irritating her" he said
"is that your intention" i asked
"not at all" he said
"then where is the problem. tell her your intentions. she should know before she conceives her own thoughts" i said
ok" he said
"what do you want from her. do you want a marriage, pyhsical pleasure or just want to know her more" i asked
"no marriage i just want to meet her and spend some time to know her" he said
"do you love her"i asked
its too early to say, i have just seen her couple of times and dont even know her nature, choices and even likings" he said
"go ahead" i said
"i dont know what she will say" he said
"what is the worst" i asked
"she will say no" he said
"no to what. to your feelings for her. your emotions or to go for a coffee or talk on mobile" i asked
"to my proposal" he said
"proposal? what proposal, you said you want to express your emotions to her. go ahead and do that. you did not tell me that you want something in return." i asked
"i want to propose and ofcourse i want things in return" he said
"then thats not love or liking. thats purely a conditional deal you want to make with her. that deal is giving you fear as well as a feeling of being rejected or refused.if you like her or like anything special in her just go and tell her. if she also feels the same she would surely speak to you about it. if she doesnt why do you want to force her to love you or like you. and in return you behave silly that will surely make mockery of your liking." i said
"i got it. i was considering my feelings as love. whereas its nothing but a desire of feeling physical sensation. if i love or like her it should not matter what she replies to me. her reply wouldnt affect my love for her. i will tell her my heart its ok how she reacts. i respect her so i will say it in a decent way. i will go to her and tell her i like being with her. i like the way she dresses up. the way she talks to everyone. i wish i could be with person like her and feel very happy about it. i will tell her that she has no compulsion to feel the same about me.my love for her would remain the same and i assure her that i will not do anything that brings disgrace to her or her emotions. love is eternal it doesnt need a physical approval or private meetings, mushy moments or even hands together. it is felt and it remains in you forever" he said
"how do you feel now" i asked
"wow, i will just go and tell her" he said
"how will she react" i asked
"she will react as if someone has told her how good she is and thats how she should be throughout her life. she will feel really wonderful" he said
"go ahead and all the best" i said
he left the room and i could see confidence in him. now if he goes and proposes her its a wonderful love of him.
if he feels that he wants her physical approval and wants a right on her. she should belong to him only, the feeling of control comes in. she is a love of him not a commodity. you cannot make a person do something until and unless he or she wants to do that.
remember there is a difference in humans and materials. she is is a human not an article you can posess.
prince gera
i asked proposed for what?
"i want to tell her what i feel about her" he replied.
"what do you feel" i aksed
"i really like her and want to be with her for some time, may be a coffee or something" he said
"go ahead and tell her, that you like her and you want to treat her with a coffee" i replied
"what if she reacts bad" he said
"why will she react bad" i asked
"she will think cheap of me and will think that i am a bad boy who is irritating her" he said
"is that your intention" i asked
"not at all" he said
"then where is the problem. tell her your intentions. she should know before she conceives her own thoughts" i said
ok" he said
"what do you want from her. do you want a marriage, pyhsical pleasure or just want to know her more" i asked
"no marriage i just want to meet her and spend some time to know her" he said
"do you love her"i asked
its too early to say, i have just seen her couple of times and dont even know her nature, choices and even likings" he said
"go ahead" i said
"i dont know what she will say" he said
"what is the worst" i asked
"she will say no" he said
"no to what. to your feelings for her. your emotions or to go for a coffee or talk on mobile" i asked
"to my proposal" he said
"proposal? what proposal, you said you want to express your emotions to her. go ahead and do that. you did not tell me that you want something in return." i asked
"i want to propose and ofcourse i want things in return" he said
"then thats not love or liking. thats purely a conditional deal you want to make with her. that deal is giving you fear as well as a feeling of being rejected or refused.if you like her or like anything special in her just go and tell her. if she also feels the same she would surely speak to you about it. if she doesnt why do you want to force her to love you or like you. and in return you behave silly that will surely make mockery of your liking." i said
"i got it. i was considering my feelings as love. whereas its nothing but a desire of feeling physical sensation. if i love or like her it should not matter what she replies to me. her reply wouldnt affect my love for her. i will tell her my heart its ok how she reacts. i respect her so i will say it in a decent way. i will go to her and tell her i like being with her. i like the way she dresses up. the way she talks to everyone. i wish i could be with person like her and feel very happy about it. i will tell her that she has no compulsion to feel the same about me.my love for her would remain the same and i assure her that i will not do anything that brings disgrace to her or her emotions. love is eternal it doesnt need a physical approval or private meetings, mushy moments or even hands together. it is felt and it remains in you forever" he said
"how do you feel now" i asked
"wow, i will just go and tell her" he said
"how will she react" i asked
"she will react as if someone has told her how good she is and thats how she should be throughout her life. she will feel really wonderful" he said
"go ahead and all the best" i said
he left the room and i could see confidence in him. now if he goes and proposes her its a wonderful love of him.
if he feels that he wants her physical approval and wants a right on her. she should belong to him only, the feeling of control comes in. she is a love of him not a commodity. you cannot make a person do something until and unless he or she wants to do that.
remember there is a difference in humans and materials. she is is a human not an article you can posess.
prince gera
HESITATION:does it hold you!
hesitation
lets do an exercise.
think of an apple. what image comes in your mind. surely an apple.
now when i say you "dont think of apple " what comes in your mind. i am sure apple again.
now again i say dont think of an apple.
i am sure you still are thinking about apple.
this is where the hesitation works on. you dont want this hesitation or fear but you still think about it all the time.even when you are working to improve it you still have it in your mind thats why you see it coming back to you again and again.
now lets try this. instead of saying dont think about an apple, i say you to think of an orange.
now what comes in your mind. an orange for sure.
thats what it is. you dont want to feel hesitant but you still think about it everyday and say i dont want to be hesitant....
what this hesitation is:
hesitation is a natural phenomenon.it like a self defense mechanism.
we all feel hesitant to new people, new places, routes, drives and even situations.
the degree of this hesitation may vary from person to person and situations too.
the another side of hesitation is feeling inferiority or worrying about your image. what will people think about me when i do this.
i have a very simple approach to it. first ask yourself what will people think about you. let the images come in your mind. hear what you hear and feel how you feel about it.
now just imagine yourself doing what you want to do and see people reacting very normally to it. and see how you feel.
in some cases you feel inferior and you want to show others how inferior you are feeling. this is a big trouble. you must accept what you are and as you are. you will feel very relaxed.
for example you go into a big coffee shop with some friends of your cousins. they talk about menu and look at you. you dont know the menu and have never been to a place like this. you tend to lose your confidence and hope that they dont discuss the menu with you. because if they ask you for a dish you will fall flat and they will get to know the fact that you are an alien to such an ambience.
the best part would be you go ahead and tell them that you are new to this place and since the other members are more familier to this. ask them for suggestions on menu and even ask them to explain you the dishes and you listen curiously.
now they dont have to show that they are superior because you have already called them superior.
it gives them a chance to share their knowledge with you and you get a mentor.
in another situation you may feel hesitant of thinking about the result of the action you intend to perform.
you can close your eyes and play a movie of you doing that act. you can add music as per your choice or even reactions of people observing you.
its is a neuro programming exercise to create instant confidence.
what the world thinks about you its their problem. and as long as you are not hurting anyone, you must feel happy doing what are doing.
accept yourself as you are and be what you are. dont blend. tell people also to accept you as you are.
as you spend more time doing that act you automatically become more confident.
now go ahead and live to the fullest.
speak your point with a conviction and genuinees in your heart.
prince gera
lets do an exercise.
think of an apple. what image comes in your mind. surely an apple.
now when i say you "dont think of apple " what comes in your mind. i am sure apple again.
now again i say dont think of an apple.
i am sure you still are thinking about apple.
this is where the hesitation works on. you dont want this hesitation or fear but you still think about it all the time.even when you are working to improve it you still have it in your mind thats why you see it coming back to you again and again.
now lets try this. instead of saying dont think about an apple, i say you to think of an orange.
now what comes in your mind. an orange for sure.
thats what it is. you dont want to feel hesitant but you still think about it everyday and say i dont want to be hesitant....
what this hesitation is:
hesitation is a natural phenomenon.it like a self defense mechanism.
we all feel hesitant to new people, new places, routes, drives and even situations.
the degree of this hesitation may vary from person to person and situations too.
the another side of hesitation is feeling inferiority or worrying about your image. what will people think about me when i do this.
i have a very simple approach to it. first ask yourself what will people think about you. let the images come in your mind. hear what you hear and feel how you feel about it.
now just imagine yourself doing what you want to do and see people reacting very normally to it. and see how you feel.
in some cases you feel inferior and you want to show others how inferior you are feeling. this is a big trouble. you must accept what you are and as you are. you will feel very relaxed.
for example you go into a big coffee shop with some friends of your cousins. they talk about menu and look at you. you dont know the menu and have never been to a place like this. you tend to lose your confidence and hope that they dont discuss the menu with you. because if they ask you for a dish you will fall flat and they will get to know the fact that you are an alien to such an ambience.
the best part would be you go ahead and tell them that you are new to this place and since the other members are more familier to this. ask them for suggestions on menu and even ask them to explain you the dishes and you listen curiously.
now they dont have to show that they are superior because you have already called them superior.
it gives them a chance to share their knowledge with you and you get a mentor.
in another situation you may feel hesitant of thinking about the result of the action you intend to perform.
you can close your eyes and play a movie of you doing that act. you can add music as per your choice or even reactions of people observing you.
its is a neuro programming exercise to create instant confidence.
what the world thinks about you its their problem. and as long as you are not hurting anyone, you must feel happy doing what are doing.
accept yourself as you are and be what you are. dont blend. tell people also to accept you as you are.
as you spend more time doing that act you automatically become more confident.
now go ahead and live to the fullest.
speak your point with a conviction and genuinees in your heart.
prince gera
Monday, June 21, 2010
presentation skills
now that's interesting area i would love to speak about. i have been into numerous presentations and have personally delivered presentations in various management, engineering and other vocational institutions.
i come across various ways of presentation, some are formal some are very informal.
some talk about products, services, informational and even motivational presentation.\
every time when we think of a presentation. a formal setting comes in our mind. an image of lot of people in audience and may be a presenter or two.
the role of a presenter is to speak and audience since the name suggests is there to listen.
i remember my school days when my chemistry teacher would come and shout in the class.
"SILENCE" was the word she would shout ironically she used to make the maximum noise.
and taking advantage of that noise we would make more noise.
what she preached was completely against what she wanted others to practice.
similarly in a presentation a presenter becomes a preacher and expects other to become a listener which generally doesn't happen.
now i ask you?
do you remember all presentations you attended?
no,i am sure.
do you remember all the slides at the end?
no for sure
ok then what presentations do you remember?
what kind of emotions come in your mind when you think of that presentation.
do you laugh remembering the jokes presenter cracked?
do you get into tears remembering the pain he discussed about?
feel patriotic
even feel scared
do you remember a presentation that didn't arouse any emotion in you.
no, not really.
do you remember what happened on 17 July 2003
no, but do you remember your school farewell party, first date, or any day when you were beaten up by your parents or some bullies.
yes
so every day and every moment that has some emotions attached to it becomes very much vivid and clear to us. we can remember them for long years rest gets washed away.
now that`s the pulse. every presentation has to arouse some emotions in audience so that they remember it for too long. all wonderful orators in the history knew about it and they even knew how to do that.
emotions in the presentation can be of many kind. humor being the safest rest depends on the situation.
for an excellent presentation
1. remember you have to speak less and listen more. as much as you can involve the audience.
2. your presentation must carry an emotion if it is not available add humor in it.
3. relate it with the audience. let them decide how it can benefit them. they should be able to relate the benefits .
4. design your questions to get the desired answers.
5. avoid arguments and conflict in between the presentation.
6. accept your weakness as it is and defend it with some other wonderful points.
7. make sure the jokes you crack are not judgmental in nature and should create no offense.
8. prepared yourself to handle objections.
example:
get in the hall and greet the audience with a smile. feel good about yourself and let the enthusiasm of meeting audience flow on your face. after all presentation is all about transferring the enthusiasm from presenter to audience.
for example:
how many of you know what x product is?
and many other questions.
praise the audience on their answers and appreciate their knowledge with being judgmental.
after gathering the information you may get the direction of your presentation, the core areas and areas to be addressed.
remember you will be able to feel that enthusiasm only you are convinced with what you are presenting or else you are only preaching.
lets say you are here to sell brand X.
normally a presenter will speak about his brand X.
that`s what he is supposed to ignoring the fact that there are chances of audience showing ignorance to it.
take a fresh side of it.
you are here to talk about product X. now lets begin asking the audience about the product they like. you will see audience giving mixed reactions like product B,C,D.
now that is what they have in their mind. it is already loaded in their mind.
now even if you speak for hours they can not allocate your words anywhere in mind as it is already occupied by the previous product.
now your job begins to unload it. ask them what they like about b,c or d. talk good about what they like. be like them. become their mirror and speak what they speak about their choices.
for example he says brand d has 10 service centers tell him that it doesn't only have 10 service centers in fact it has great re sale too.
so it may sound silly that you have come here to give presentation on X but you talking of every other brand.
yes my dear, you are talking of every other brand because your audience wants to talk about it. once they have spoken about it. that means that have already unloaded what was in their mind.
they have given you the codes also what makes them like that product. this listening process has also given you an idea of their respective buying or choosing behavior.
now you can talk about your product or presentation highlighting the features as per their choice.
it will help you to talk in their language. the language they understand the most.
now they have an empty mind and now its your turn to load it and believe me you dont have to face objections or comparisons.
problem number two:
a person in the presentation stands up and says "your product has the worst quality".
an instant reaction of a presenter would be of an advocate and will begin to defend by saying statements like
NO
HOW CAN YOU SAY LIKE THAT
NO...AND....
YES YOU ARE RIGHT, ITS YOUR FEELING BUT....
see all above reactions make you look like an advocate or a hardcore seller.
here we apply a technique from NLP
suppose a customer says your product has worst quality.
first thing you ask is"what makes you say so"
he would certainly give an example for instance"i used it the color fades away in second wash"
"ok" your reply
i admit that fact sir but........oh my god this is where the problem begins. but and admit cant be together either you admit or you say but.
as soon as you say but you loose the person and begin the argument again. see how
i admit that fact sir but now we have improved the quality..
the better way can be:
i admit the fact sir, a lot of customer complaint the same problem and i was sure that i am soon going to hear couple of them here also.
since a lot of customer complaint about it and keeping this in consideration to company decided to revise the whole quality process and now we have a new color fastening formula added to the fabric.
do you see what happens.
you admitted what the audience said as well as you added what you wanted to say.
remember "yes" and "and" rather then
"no" and "but" approach.
let people feel your presentations. state example from their life. make the experience the product mentally. take for a ride in car or even make them use the power windows than simply tel
ling power as a car feature.
make sure you keep audience packed up. you should be able to control the direction of presentation.
use audio visuals they are very effective tools and use innovative techniques to keeping audience in movement.
give a pleasant ending and avoid being judgmental.
let audience judge our presentation, service or product.
feel good about it the audience will automatically feel good about it.
remember people buy people not products.
match their choices with your products and avoid imposing your features on them as their choices.
nobody loves when you sell them something, but everybody loves buying.
presentation happens at every stage interviews, meetings, lunches and even social gathering. your views are products and you are the presenter people buy you means they build relations to you when you are like them. flexible, non judgmental and open minded.
"aao hum sab pehan le aaina sare dekhenge apna hi chera sabko saare haseen lageneg yahan"
so remembr a presenter doesn't have to speak, he just has to listen and design his words that pleases everyone.
have a great day
prince gera
i come across various ways of presentation, some are formal some are very informal.
some talk about products, services, informational and even motivational presentation.\
every time when we think of a presentation. a formal setting comes in our mind. an image of lot of people in audience and may be a presenter or two.
the role of a presenter is to speak and audience since the name suggests is there to listen.
i remember my school days when my chemistry teacher would come and shout in the class.
"SILENCE" was the word she would shout ironically she used to make the maximum noise.
and taking advantage of that noise we would make more noise.
what she preached was completely against what she wanted others to practice.
similarly in a presentation a presenter becomes a preacher and expects other to become a listener which generally doesn't happen.
now i ask you?
do you remember all presentations you attended?
no,i am sure.
do you remember all the slides at the end?
no for sure
ok then what presentations do you remember?
what kind of emotions come in your mind when you think of that presentation.
do you laugh remembering the jokes presenter cracked?
do you get into tears remembering the pain he discussed about?
feel patriotic
even feel scared
do you remember a presentation that didn't arouse any emotion in you.
no, not really.
do you remember what happened on 17 July 2003
no, but do you remember your school farewell party, first date, or any day when you were beaten up by your parents or some bullies.
yes
so every day and every moment that has some emotions attached to it becomes very much vivid and clear to us. we can remember them for long years rest gets washed away.
now that`s the pulse. every presentation has to arouse some emotions in audience so that they remember it for too long. all wonderful orators in the history knew about it and they even knew how to do that.
emotions in the presentation can be of many kind. humor being the safest rest depends on the situation.
for an excellent presentation
1. remember you have to speak less and listen more. as much as you can involve the audience.
2. your presentation must carry an emotion if it is not available add humor in it.
3. relate it with the audience. let them decide how it can benefit them. they should be able to relate the benefits .
4. design your questions to get the desired answers.
5. avoid arguments and conflict in between the presentation.
6. accept your weakness as it is and defend it with some other wonderful points.
7. make sure the jokes you crack are not judgmental in nature and should create no offense.
8. prepared yourself to handle objections.
example:
get in the hall and greet the audience with a smile. feel good about yourself and let the enthusiasm of meeting audience flow on your face. after all presentation is all about transferring the enthusiasm from presenter to audience.
begin your topic with questions of different kind to relate yourself and your presentation with audience.
for example:
how many of you know what x product is?
and many other questions.
praise the audience on their answers and appreciate their knowledge with being judgmental.
after gathering the information you may get the direction of your presentation, the core areas and areas to be addressed.
remember you will be able to feel that enthusiasm only you are convinced with what you are presenting or else you are only preaching.
lets say you are here to sell brand X.
normally a presenter will speak about his brand X.
that`s what he is supposed to ignoring the fact that there are chances of audience showing ignorance to it.
take a fresh side of it.
you are here to talk about product X. now lets begin asking the audience about the product they like. you will see audience giving mixed reactions like product B,C,D.
now that is what they have in their mind. it is already loaded in their mind.
now even if you speak for hours they can not allocate your words anywhere in mind as it is already occupied by the previous product.
now your job begins to unload it. ask them what they like about b,c or d. talk good about what they like. be like them. become their mirror and speak what they speak about their choices.
for example he says brand d has 10 service centers tell him that it doesn't only have 10 service centers in fact it has great re sale too.
so it may sound silly that you have come here to give presentation on X but you talking of every other brand.
yes my dear, you are talking of every other brand because your audience wants to talk about it. once they have spoken about it. that means that have already unloaded what was in their mind.
they have given you the codes also what makes them like that product. this listening process has also given you an idea of their respective buying or choosing behavior.
now you can talk about your product or presentation highlighting the features as per their choice.
it will help you to talk in their language. the language they understand the most.
now they have an empty mind and now its your turn to load it and believe me you dont have to face objections or comparisons.
problem number two:
a person in the presentation stands up and says "your product has the worst quality".
an instant reaction of a presenter would be of an advocate and will begin to defend by saying statements like
NO
HOW CAN YOU SAY LIKE THAT
NO...AND....
YES YOU ARE RIGHT, ITS YOUR FEELING BUT....
see all above reactions make you look like an advocate or a hardcore seller.
here we apply a technique from NLP
suppose a customer says your product has worst quality.
first thing you ask is"what makes you say so"
he would certainly give an example for instance"i used it the color fades away in second wash"
"ok" your reply
i admit that fact sir but........oh my god this is where the problem begins. but and admit cant be together either you admit or you say but.
as soon as you say but you loose the person and begin the argument again. see how
i admit that fact sir but now we have improved the quality..
the better way can be:
i admit the fact sir, a lot of customer complaint the same problem and i was sure that i am soon going to hear couple of them here also.
since a lot of customer complaint about it and keeping this in consideration to company decided to revise the whole quality process and now we have a new color fastening formula added to the fabric.
do you see what happens.
you admitted what the audience said as well as you added what you wanted to say.
remember "yes" and "and" rather then
"no" and "but" approach.
let people feel your presentations. state example from their life. make the experience the product mentally. take for a ride in car or even make them use the power windows than simply tel
ling power as a car feature.
make sure you keep audience packed up. you should be able to control the direction of presentation.
use audio visuals they are very effective tools and use innovative techniques to keeping audience in movement.
give a pleasant ending and avoid being judgmental.
let audience judge our presentation, service or product.
feel good about it the audience will automatically feel good about it.
remember people buy people not products.
match their choices with your products and avoid imposing your features on them as their choices.
nobody loves when you sell them something, but everybody loves buying.
presentation happens at every stage interviews, meetings, lunches and even social gathering. your views are products and you are the presenter people buy you means they build relations to you when you are like them. flexible, non judgmental and open minded.
"aao hum sab pehan le aaina sare dekhenge apna hi chera sabko saare haseen lageneg yahan"
so remembr a presenter doesn't have to speak, he just has to listen and design his words that pleases everyone.
have a great day
prince gera
istant rapport part 2
everyone around you wants attention. the special color of the shirt, that wonderful car color and even by their new house sometimes they want to communicate something or other.
they desperately look out for listeners.since everyone is searching for listener what should we become. the answer seems obvious. be a emphatic listener. lend your ears to others and then see how things turn around.
give them the attention they are seeking. this craving for attention will make them do much. you can make it easy for them by giving them attention.
remember their name, ask them about everything the like, buy, do or simply feel interested in them. then only they will feel interested in you.
praise them for the new they do and encourage them for their efforts. see how things change around...
to be a wonderful speaker you just need to be a wonderful listener.
prince gera
they desperately look out for listeners.since everyone is searching for listener what should we become. the answer seems obvious. be a emphatic listener. lend your ears to others and then see how things turn around.
give them the attention they are seeking. this craving for attention will make them do much. you can make it easy for them by giving them attention.
remember their name, ask them about everything the like, buy, do or simply feel interested in them. then only they will feel interested in you.
praise them for the new they do and encourage them for their efforts. see how things change around...
to be a wonderful speaker you just need to be a wonderful listener.
prince gera
HI rai/sonu
oh just received your friend request on orkut. glad to meet you after such a long time. hows russia and hows London. so is sonu married? if yes then congratulations from my side. even i miss u people a lot. say my hello to suresh, amarjeet and all your gang even akshay also.
prince gera
prince gera
Saturday, June 19, 2010
regain faith in relationship
wow just finished with a plr session with a young girl. who would always think that men cheat and everybody is selfish. this feeling was ruining her current life as she was getting hyper possessive for her man.
that possessiveness and control was sending the man actually away. her emotions were controlled by fear. she has a fear of loosing him. after a PLR we came across some unexplored areas of her subconscious mind. after finding from where she developed these feelings we could easily remove these feelings from her mind.
now she feels relaxed and has started feeling Faith for her love.
now she wont suspect on him unnecessarily. good one...i enjoyed..
that possessiveness and control was sending the man actually away. her emotions were controlled by fear. she has a fear of loosing him. after a PLR we came across some unexplored areas of her subconscious mind. after finding from where she developed these feelings we could easily remove these feelings from her mind.
now she feels relaxed and has started feeling Faith for her love.
now she wont suspect on him unnecessarily. good one...i enjoyed..
Friday, June 18, 2010
phobia removed
hi just had a wonderful session with a young girl who had a phobia of onions.
she could not see it or even bear a sight of it.
half an hour session and she moved out and held one in hand and even chopped it.
she in fact promised me to go home and make an onion salad for family.
she even had a phobia of escalators that we managed to remove too hope she enjoys going to malls now.
prince
she could not see it or even bear a sight of it.
half an hour session and she moved out and held one in hand and even chopped it.
she in fact promised me to go home and make an onion salad for family.
she even had a phobia of escalators that we managed to remove too hope she enjoys going to malls now.
prince
Thursday, June 17, 2010
impress instanlty almost anyone!! part 1
To create instant rapport
A lot of people work really hard to make instant rapport with people they come across.
This article will help all of those who wish to be liked by everyone. These techniques can really help you build quick and long lasting relations even in just one meeting.
1. Love yourself: how can you expect others to love you or even like you when you hate yourself the most. You are unique and wonderful. Accept this fact. If you feel bad about you then try this exercise before you move further.
Look at yourself in the mirror and then close your eyes. Now think of the person who really loves you and cares for you unconditionally.
Just imagine you are that person and open yourself and look at your image in the mirror. Now you will be able to see yourself from that persons point of you. See what that persons loves you for. See yourself from his/her eyes.
How do you feel now, I am sure you feel good and different.
Now hold this feeling of goodness in you. Take few breaths and tell yourself that you are wonderful and unique. You are your favorite. (don’t worry you will not become self obsessed . We will talk about it soon)
Okay what kind of person would you like to be with. I am sure a good, happy and fun loving person. So now think, what kind of person would people like to be with. I hope you got the answer. Now we begin to become that.
Communication begins at mind first.
We communicate our thoughts and feelings. These thoughts and feeling are originated out of our mind. So every communication actually originates at mind.
Communication is a 24x7 process.
We communicate even when we do not communicate anything deliberately. Lets take an example: you go home today and don’t utter anything for next 10 hours. You will see people coming and questioning you about your mood, your health and even a lot of issues.
Did you communicate anything, yes you did.
You didn’t do it deliberately but since communication is 24x7 process so it takes place on its own.
We must understand our mind first.
How human mind works?
Let us look at how our conscious and subconscious mind work together to allow us to grow, develop and create our life.
Our conscious mind is our "awareness" it is our communication centre. It thinks, reasons, calculates, plans, directs all actions of the body, determines results and makes decisions. It is creative, it registers pain, fear, happiness and it sets goals (both long-term and very short-term goals). In order for the conscious mind to be able to do all of these things, it must have a place to pull information from - a storage area.
The subconscious mind is our data storage bank. When our conscious mind asks, our subconscious mind gives.
The subconscious mind takes in everything we learn and experience in our lifetime. It begins at birth (some say before birth), soaking up information like a sponge, accumulating data as we grow and experience life. It also begins forming beliefs based on what we learn and what we experience, which determines how we react to everything in our life.
These beliefs gain both strength and momentum the older we become. The subconscious mind does not make choices; it accepts everything, good and bad, positive and negative.
The conscious mind, however, does make choices, almost every minute of our lives. Since everything has its equal and opposite such as day has night, love has hate, prosperity has poverty and on and on, our lives are a matter of choice, our conscious choice.
All these conscious choices are made with the information we have amassed in our subconscious mind over our lifetime. The simple conclusion is that if we are dissatisfied with anything in our lives, we must do something that will work at adding, altering, or changing those beliefs in our subconscious mind....for the quality of your life is directly related to the quality.
Just imagine an empty glass. Now when I fill this glass with orange color liquid what flavor comes in your mind, I am sure orange and when I fill it with yellow. It gives you a flavor of mango or lemon.
You can feel the taste on your tongue without even physically tasting it. Where is the taste coming from? Yes it already recorded in your mind.
The subconscious stores memories, habits, incidents and even learning. So now what is learned can be unlearned too. Wow, so you can have an access to all your memories and alter them as per their convenience.
Remember you started learning anything. May be computers or driving car.
How was it? Tough isn’t it. You broke it down into steps. Like, go in the car, place the key and so on.
After a few days repeat you now drive it wonderfully. When you were learning it your conscious mind was in action and it was continuously recording the incidences in subconscious.
Now you can be busy on your cell phone and even hold a drink in hand. It doesn’t matter because your subconscious takes the seat and helps you to run it involuntarily.
Subconscious is a powerhouse. It is a library of emotions, processes and even looks after other involuntary activities like your breathing, digestion, blood flow and several other operations.
We will work on subconscious to design our behavior that happens consciously or subconsciously.
Belief
Ok let’s talk of a limiting belief.
Just like, I can’t sing in front of classmates.
Now say I can sing very badly in front of classmates.
Now actually it says that you can sing at least and we can work to improve singing skills.
And the other factor is classmate. We can work on that too. Only when we get to know what makes you feel awkward to sing in front of classmates.
So once we know what kind of emotion is triggered in mind when we think of classmates or singing. We change surely do alterations to change this behavior of limiting belief to confidence.
A lot of people work really hard to make instant rapport with people they come across.
This article will help all of those who wish to be liked by everyone. These techniques can really help you build quick and long lasting relations even in just one meeting.
1. Love yourself: how can you expect others to love you or even like you when you hate yourself the most. You are unique and wonderful. Accept this fact. If you feel bad about you then try this exercise before you move further.
Look at yourself in the mirror and then close your eyes. Now think of the person who really loves you and cares for you unconditionally.
Just imagine you are that person and open yourself and look at your image in the mirror. Now you will be able to see yourself from that persons point of you. See what that persons loves you for. See yourself from his/her eyes.
How do you feel now, I am sure you feel good and different.
Now hold this feeling of goodness in you. Take few breaths and tell yourself that you are wonderful and unique. You are your favorite. (don’t worry you will not become self obsessed . We will talk about it soon)
Okay what kind of person would you like to be with. I am sure a good, happy and fun loving person. So now think, what kind of person would people like to be with. I hope you got the answer. Now we begin to become that.
Communication begins at mind first.
We communicate our thoughts and feelings. These thoughts and feeling are originated out of our mind. So every communication actually originates at mind.
Communication is a 24x7 process.
We communicate even when we do not communicate anything deliberately. Lets take an example: you go home today and don’t utter anything for next 10 hours. You will see people coming and questioning you about your mood, your health and even a lot of issues.
Did you communicate anything, yes you did.
You didn’t do it deliberately but since communication is 24x7 process so it takes place on its own.
We must understand our mind first.
How human mind works?
Let us look at how our conscious and subconscious mind work together to allow us to grow, develop and create our life.
Our conscious mind is our "awareness" it is our communication centre. It thinks, reasons, calculates, plans, directs all actions of the body, determines results and makes decisions. It is creative, it registers pain, fear, happiness and it sets goals (both long-term and very short-term goals). In order for the conscious mind to be able to do all of these things, it must have a place to pull information from - a storage area.
The subconscious mind is our data storage bank. When our conscious mind asks, our subconscious mind gives.
The subconscious mind takes in everything we learn and experience in our lifetime. It begins at birth (some say before birth), soaking up information like a sponge, accumulating data as we grow and experience life. It also begins forming beliefs based on what we learn and what we experience, which determines how we react to everything in our life.
These beliefs gain both strength and momentum the older we become. The subconscious mind does not make choices; it accepts everything, good and bad, positive and negative.
The conscious mind, however, does make choices, almost every minute of our lives. Since everything has its equal and opposite such as day has night, love has hate, prosperity has poverty and on and on, our lives are a matter of choice, our conscious choice.
All these conscious choices are made with the information we have amassed in our subconscious mind over our lifetime. The simple conclusion is that if we are dissatisfied with anything in our lives, we must do something that will work at adding, altering, or changing those beliefs in our subconscious mind....for the quality of your life is directly related to the quality.
Just imagine an empty glass. Now when I fill this glass with orange color liquid what flavor comes in your mind, I am sure orange and when I fill it with yellow. It gives you a flavor of mango or lemon.
You can feel the taste on your tongue without even physically tasting it. Where is the taste coming from? Yes it already recorded in your mind.
The subconscious stores memories, habits, incidents and even learning. So now what is learned can be unlearned too. Wow, so you can have an access to all your memories and alter them as per their convenience.
Remember you started learning anything. May be computers or driving car.
How was it? Tough isn’t it. You broke it down into steps. Like, go in the car, place the key and so on.
After a few days repeat you now drive it wonderfully. When you were learning it your conscious mind was in action and it was continuously recording the incidences in subconscious.
Now you can be busy on your cell phone and even hold a drink in hand. It doesn’t matter because your subconscious takes the seat and helps you to run it involuntarily.
Subconscious is a powerhouse. It is a library of emotions, processes and even looks after other involuntary activities like your breathing, digestion, blood flow and several other operations.
We will work on subconscious to design our behavior that happens consciously or subconsciously.
Belief
Ok let’s talk of a limiting belief.
Just like, I can’t sing in front of classmates.
Now say I can sing very badly in front of classmates.
Now actually it says that you can sing at least and we can work to improve singing skills.
And the other factor is classmate. We can work on that too. Only when we get to know what makes you feel awkward to sing in front of classmates.
So once we know what kind of emotion is triggered in mind when we think of classmates or singing. We change surely do alterations to change this behavior of limiting belief to confidence.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
addicted! no more
i am sure there are many situations in your life where you feel yourself addicted to something you really dont want to be with.
just a simple step.
give me reasons you want to quit that thing because of.
it can be leaving a person because of the amount of humiliation he or she has caused you and you still feel compulsory obsessed with them person.
step 1
take a few deep breaths and say relax to your mind when you exhale.
step 2
just think of an incident that made you feel disgusted and you decided to quit this addiction or person.
feel as you are feeling it now, see as you are seeing it now and sense it as you are sensing it now.
step 3 think of another incident and than another and than 4th one.
step 4
now run these incidents in your mind just one after the another. run them overlapping each other. run them in detail with sound and bright color.
feeling really disgusted about it. too bad and too pathetic.
once you are through just let me how bad you feel about it now. or just strong you feel about quiting it now.
step 5
now we need to ask what we want instead.
now just make a list of things you would feel great after getting free from this addiction.
what would you do and how would you feel.
is it wonderful if yes than.
now run a movie of future as if you are there in that picture. feeling good about being free from that compulsion.
feeling relaxed and very rejuvenated.
just lock this feeling then and there itself.
feel good about it now.
prince gera
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
nervous before interview or presentation!
hi to all!
this is one of the most common issue students come up with.
this can also be called as performance anxiety and it happens mostly a few minutes before the actual event.
mostly we are not concerned with the event but we are more anxious about the result
anxious about the result! without the action has taken place.
lets take an example:
you have to give a presentation in college. next is your turn.
so now your major concern is with your performance so you dont bother to consider that current performances.
see how you feel? do you feel nervous and anxious?
is your heart beating too fast? is the throat dried up?
if these are the regular feelings for you then this exercise will help you.
step:1 close you eyes and take a few deep breaths.
every time you exhale say relax to your own mind.
you may breath for a few seconds and bring your mind to a calm state.
step2: now imagine yourself floating out of your body and move upwards. observe your self from a reasonably good height.
step3: now since you can see yourself siting on that chair. move that image a bit in the future to a point when this incident gets over.
step4: see yourself smiling and feeling very good that you have successfully accomplished what you wanted to.
example:
pankaj has to appear in an interview. he is anxious and is constantly thinking about it.
he nows closes his eyes and floats upwards and looks at his own image(as if you are watching a movie).
then he imagines himself coming out of the interview with a smile. he even sees him giving hugs to his friends and receiving good feedback from others.
a few seconds and he is out of anxiety.
he was worried and was imagining bad about his interview with this exercise he shifted his focus from bad result to a good result.
NOTE: i am sure what people argue about this exercise. they would say what if my result is not as per my expected image.
see this exercise makes you positive and relaxed so the chances of getting good and positive results are more.
if feeling anxious, nervous makes you feel good then you can skip this exercise.
:-)
regards
prince gera
10:45am 16 june
this is one of the most common issue students come up with.
this can also be called as performance anxiety and it happens mostly a few minutes before the actual event.
mostly we are not concerned with the event but we are more anxious about the result
anxious about the result! without the action has taken place.
lets take an example:
you have to give a presentation in college. next is your turn.
so now your major concern is with your performance so you dont bother to consider that current performances.
see how you feel? do you feel nervous and anxious?
is your heart beating too fast? is the throat dried up?
if these are the regular feelings for you then this exercise will help you.
step:1 close you eyes and take a few deep breaths.
every time you exhale say relax to your own mind.
you may breath for a few seconds and bring your mind to a calm state.
step2: now imagine yourself floating out of your body and move upwards. observe your self from a reasonably good height.
step3: now since you can see yourself siting on that chair. move that image a bit in the future to a point when this incident gets over.
step4: see yourself smiling and feeling very good that you have successfully accomplished what you wanted to.
example:
pankaj has to appear in an interview. he is anxious and is constantly thinking about it.
he nows closes his eyes and floats upwards and looks at his own image(as if you are watching a movie).
then he imagines himself coming out of the interview with a smile. he even sees him giving hugs to his friends and receiving good feedback from others.
a few seconds and he is out of anxiety.
he was worried and was imagining bad about his interview with this exercise he shifted his focus from bad result to a good result.
NOTE: i am sure what people argue about this exercise. they would say what if my result is not as per my expected image.
see this exercise makes you positive and relaxed so the chances of getting good and positive results are more.
if feeling anxious, nervous makes you feel good then you can skip this exercise.
:-)
regards
prince gera
10:45am 16 june
anxiety: the what will happen syndrome!
Anxiety
It seems that the buzz word of the generation now. I have been teaching in management colleges from last 5 years. Every year I come across so many new students. They all come from different parts of the country with different educational and cultural background. They all have one thing common that is their abstracted goal.
They carry one thing is bulk. Anxiety, the will happen then…syndrome. Believe me majority have them join post graduate courses because of this reason only.
Either they have a fear of loosing what they have, a fear of getting ridiculed or a fear of being out casted amongst their own people or a desire of being someone unique, extraordinarily different.
These are abstractive goals. First thing that I get to hear from them is their introduction. This is where I get to hear the maximum used phrased “I want to be successful”. What a vast spectrum! How would one define it in specific terms. How will you realize that you are successful.
Will there be a certification awarded that authenticates success or some kind of emotions are felt on being successful.
Churning out a little they come up with same answer.
I will be happy when I get success. That means the day I get my favorite car or getting that favorite job or even getting married to the loved one.
Read again “I will be happy” so happiness is the outcome of success. It is a final essence for which they have been running around for. They travel so far, they work so hard and even struggle for so long to feel this emotion. Even the fancy car doesn’t comes with it. It lies with in them. Within all of us. The problem is we with some much of education analyze the past and plan the future and in this zest the present gets lost some where.
My first wish to every student or learner or any body is you become successful they day you start being happy.
The intensity of pain and happiness cannot be measured. A man riding a new car cannot say his happiness is more than the poor man who some how managed to buy a new cycle.
Or the mother who has her baby cannot say her pain is more than the lady who lost her husband.
If you are happy you are the most successful person in this life. If you have million dollars and you are still upset then there is something really wrong with you.
I conducted a survey where I asked 70 young graduates if they would like to spend a weekend with family or with their friends. The 90% opted for friends or some one else but certainly not family.
Imagine how would you feel if tomorrow your child grows up and tells you that he doesn’t like your company. Why is it so?
There is a lack of love in families now. Kids look around for friends, social networking sites, movies, affairs, hostel and several other means.
Principle is very simple what you give is what you get. The universe works on laws of attraction we get what we release in this universe. For example a family where parents give time and love ultimately get time and love whereas in a family where dad gives humiliation and money. He gets the same when child grows up.
Make sure you invest wisely in your relations…
Prince gera
(pardon spellings)
how to improve english skills
I can’t speak fluently?
Wait a minute. Let me rephrase this sentence and then you tell me.
I can speak slowly.
Is it also correct? I am sure, yes. And now just look back in your life. Do you see any improvement in your English from last some years? Yes, I am sure yes is the answer. It doesn’t matter even if the improvement is at the rate of 1% per year. It is there that’s important.
So can I rephrase the sentence now again as:
I can speak English slowly and I am improving.
Or I can speak English slowly and I am working hard to improve.
How does it differ?
Lets say you have a white santro in your mind. May be you are planning to buy it or your cousin called you last night and intimated you that he has bought a new white santro. So now what you have in your mind. A WHITE SANTRO. What will you see around you and what will you find around you now is white santro.
If you have pink in your mind, which color will you find everywhere?
I am sure pink.
Similarly if today you say I CANT SPEAK FLUENLTY.
What will you see around you? Your failures in conversations.
If you have a phrase that I can speak and I am improving.
Your mind will notice your efforts and improvements and will appreciate to do better.
So now always say I am good and I am improving.
Make a shift:
I CANT SING
I CAN SING BAD
I CANT SWIM
I CAN LEARN TO SWIM
I CANT COOK
I CAN COOK BAD AND CAN IMPROVE
I lack in fluency?
What is fluency? Is it speaking non stop or speak without a pause.
Speaking non stop is not fluency. Understanding completely is also fluency. Speaking when it is required is also fluency.
I know how to drive car and I drive it very nice in my city. When I have to drive it in new city may be a hill or any other area. I drive a little slow. After driving there for some regular trips I feel very comfortable.
So am I not a good driver? Am not I fluent in driving? Or is it the new place, new roads, new turns or may be unknown places that’s making me go slow.
So isn’t it the new topic, new people, new environment, new words and even a brand new company that makes us a little less comfortable to talk. So is it crime for me to take time to adjust in a new situation.
One silly question!
I want to learn how to swim? What should I do?
The answer would be : SWIM
Yes, you want to learn how to speak English?
What should the answer be SPEAK. That’s all. Speak as much as you can. Do mistakes, have fall outs, you are free as you are just a learner.
Write English. When you write you actually speak. Can you write with out speaking? No, you cant.
I don’t get the right word at the right time.
Wait you don’t get the right word at the right time or you get it late.
The answer will be I get it late.
Why do you get it late?
Lets check it.
I now ask you to think of five people you know in 5 seconds.
Good, now think of 5 more persons whom you know but you don’t interact with them very rare.
I am sure you can.
Did you see what happen?
You were able to remember people whom you interact daily. Why did you recall them only.
Because of their current role in your life.
Similarly every time you speak you can recall easily recall the word that is used often. But you take time to recall the word that is either not used or used very rarely.
Do you forget things? Or you recall them late.
I am sure you recall them late.
So now if you wish to bring more words in your life then you must speak them.
And if you are not able to recall a word that you haven’t heard before then its no crime.
How can I know your name when I haven’t met you before?
So get the right word at right time we must listen to words and bring them in use as much as possible.
I hesitate!
Do you hesitate to speak?
Or you hesitate wondering what will others think about me?
Hesitation is a very natural phenomenon. We all have it in us. Remember your first day in school. Remember your first date or even first interaction with a client.
It is in us always. How do you pick call from an unknown number?
Do you open up in the first hello itself? Not really.
Now ask yourself is it the hesitation or you have fear of getting ridiculed?
“What will others think about me“ syndrome.
What others think about you its their problem as long as you are not doing anything that’s obscene in society or doing it purposely to degrade someone.
This fear is not only for English but for n number of reasons. Even if you have to dance in a party or even if you asked to sing.
Still I hesitate when I speak in front of someone who is better than me.
Okay, now lets imagine a situation when you are in a company of people who are better than you and have much more credentials to their kitty than you have.
How do you feel in their company?
Inferior, am I right?
So that means they are superior than you.
Yes they are. Do they know it that they are superior than you, I mean do they also assume the same or is it your assumption.
Okay they are superior. Now what happens when you speak?
What will they think about me when I speak wrong?
How will they react if I speak wrong or silly?
You tell me how will they react?
They will laugh on you, make fun of you, crack jokes on you, and do everything that proves that they are better than you.
Wow, so the only thing is need is to prove that they are better than you.
Good. Now lets take a small story.
David wanted to learn how to play piano. He had a classmate named john. John was a wonderful piano player. David always wanted to be like john. He used to secretly admire him and wanted to play just like him. He never expressed his desire to john but john could easily sense it. John realized that David wants to be like him. He often discussed piano sessions with David. David now became confident to tell john that he wants to be like him.
He expressed john that he admires him. But he didn’t have courage to play piano in front of him as he assumed that john would laugh at him or think what a poor player he is.
John encouraged him to play and started supporting him. He in fact corrects David’s mistakes and appreciated his efforts.
Now David is one of the finest player of piano in the class and surprisingly he owes his success to John. Whereas john now feels more confident as he has mastered the skills with David’s success.
Lets take the story with another view.
David wanted to learn how to play piano. He had a classmate named john. John was a wonderful piano player. David was very jealous of john and used to secretly back bite his performance and always wanted to be better than john. His aim was not to excel in the area of piano but rather defeat john.
He could never express this to john but john could sense it. John also felt disheartened seeing this.
He also started ignoring David. Now David feels insecure to play in front of john assuming that john will make fun of him or react awfully on his performance.
Situation got worst now no one is happy.
Do you realize what happens when jealousy comes in?
Similarly you come across some one really better than you. Admire him. Learn from him rather than running away. Because if you run away from him/her you are actually running away from learning too.
If you like something in someone, tell him/her. Tell them how good you feel about it and you will also like to do the same in future. May be the same color car or a house like that even vocabulary like that. Everything in life is inspired from something or the other.
If you need what they have then be like them, not opposite of them. Be in alignment of what you want to receive. Jealousy keeps you away from it. So better admire.
What if they show off purposely and are arrogant?
That’s a very good point. Showing off purposely means they are actually working visibly hard to prove that they are better than you. It makes your job easier and now you know that this person is seeking attention. You want to learn and he needs attention. So go ahead give him what he needs and take what you want from him.
You can admire them and have teachers all around you. Teachers to support you, encourage you and appreciate you. It’s like free patronizing. Cool, isn’t it.
How can I polish my vocabulary?
MY VOCABULARY
That’s the actual point.
Ok just read this word and tell me what image do you see in your mind.
DOG
Did you see something. Now ask your friend to read and imagine. Do you both see the same dog. Is the image identical. Not really
This was just to prove that how different your minds are.
When your MIND is different so your THOUGHTS.
Different THOUGHTS means different FEELINGS
Different FEELINGS means different WORDS to express those feelings.
Then isn’t injustice to teach common vocabulary notes to a bunch if so discreet students.
You have your own vocabulary and you just need to activate this.
How many persons do you know by face, their numbers, and histories, past and so on. I am sure hundreds then why can’t you remember some 500 words to speak fluently.
You can. You easily can its just that you need to realize your potential.
I want the toughest vocabulary.
Why do you want that? Do you want that people should not be able to understand you?
Then don’t speak anything or simply become a mystery. We speak to express ourselves and what is the use of speaking when no one can understand us.
Job of language is bind people together not to provide a pseudo status.
Aristotle said: when a sender sends a message it is his responsibility to design it in such a way that the receiver can easily understand it.
If receiver fails to understand then sender surely is responsible for that.
So would you like to be a failure? Certainly not. Most read novels are often written in the simplest language patterns with easy to understand vocabulary.
So have simple yet clear vocabulary that should be your priority.
Speak to please and express. What you speak represents you so be cautious.
Prince gera
pardon the spelling errors
Wait a minute. Let me rephrase this sentence and then you tell me.
I can speak slowly.
Is it also correct? I am sure, yes. And now just look back in your life. Do you see any improvement in your English from last some years? Yes, I am sure yes is the answer. It doesn’t matter even if the improvement is at the rate of 1% per year. It is there that’s important.
So can I rephrase the sentence now again as:
I can speak English slowly and I am improving.
Or I can speak English slowly and I am working hard to improve.
How does it differ?
Lets say you have a white santro in your mind. May be you are planning to buy it or your cousin called you last night and intimated you that he has bought a new white santro. So now what you have in your mind. A WHITE SANTRO. What will you see around you and what will you find around you now is white santro.
If you have pink in your mind, which color will you find everywhere?
I am sure pink.
Similarly if today you say I CANT SPEAK FLUENLTY.
What will you see around you? Your failures in conversations.
If you have a phrase that I can speak and I am improving.
Your mind will notice your efforts and improvements and will appreciate to do better.
So now always say I am good and I am improving.
Make a shift:
I CANT SING
I CAN SING BAD
I CANT SWIM
I CAN LEARN TO SWIM
I CANT COOK
I CAN COOK BAD AND CAN IMPROVE
I lack in fluency?
What is fluency? Is it speaking non stop or speak without a pause.
Speaking non stop is not fluency. Understanding completely is also fluency. Speaking when it is required is also fluency.
I know how to drive car and I drive it very nice in my city. When I have to drive it in new city may be a hill or any other area. I drive a little slow. After driving there for some regular trips I feel very comfortable.
So am I not a good driver? Am not I fluent in driving? Or is it the new place, new roads, new turns or may be unknown places that’s making me go slow.
So isn’t it the new topic, new people, new environment, new words and even a brand new company that makes us a little less comfortable to talk. So is it crime for me to take time to adjust in a new situation.
One silly question!
I want to learn how to swim? What should I do?
The answer would be : SWIM
Yes, you want to learn how to speak English?
What should the answer be SPEAK. That’s all. Speak as much as you can. Do mistakes, have fall outs, you are free as you are just a learner.
Write English. When you write you actually speak. Can you write with out speaking? No, you cant.
I don’t get the right word at the right time.
Wait you don’t get the right word at the right time or you get it late.
The answer will be I get it late.
Why do you get it late?
Lets check it.
I now ask you to think of five people you know in 5 seconds.
Good, now think of 5 more persons whom you know but you don’t interact with them very rare.
I am sure you can.
Did you see what happen?
You were able to remember people whom you interact daily. Why did you recall them only.
Because of their current role in your life.
Similarly every time you speak you can recall easily recall the word that is used often. But you take time to recall the word that is either not used or used very rarely.
Do you forget things? Or you recall them late.
I am sure you recall them late.
So now if you wish to bring more words in your life then you must speak them.
And if you are not able to recall a word that you haven’t heard before then its no crime.
How can I know your name when I haven’t met you before?
So get the right word at right time we must listen to words and bring them in use as much as possible.
I hesitate!
Do you hesitate to speak?
Or you hesitate wondering what will others think about me?
Hesitation is a very natural phenomenon. We all have it in us. Remember your first day in school. Remember your first date or even first interaction with a client.
It is in us always. How do you pick call from an unknown number?
Do you open up in the first hello itself? Not really.
Now ask yourself is it the hesitation or you have fear of getting ridiculed?
“What will others think about me“ syndrome.
What others think about you its their problem as long as you are not doing anything that’s obscene in society or doing it purposely to degrade someone.
This fear is not only for English but for n number of reasons. Even if you have to dance in a party or even if you asked to sing.
Still I hesitate when I speak in front of someone who is better than me.
Okay, now lets imagine a situation when you are in a company of people who are better than you and have much more credentials to their kitty than you have.
How do you feel in their company?
Inferior, am I right?
So that means they are superior than you.
Yes they are. Do they know it that they are superior than you, I mean do they also assume the same or is it your assumption.
Okay they are superior. Now what happens when you speak?
What will they think about me when I speak wrong?
How will they react if I speak wrong or silly?
You tell me how will they react?
They will laugh on you, make fun of you, crack jokes on you, and do everything that proves that they are better than you.
Wow, so the only thing is need is to prove that they are better than you.
Good. Now lets take a small story.
David wanted to learn how to play piano. He had a classmate named john. John was a wonderful piano player. David always wanted to be like john. He used to secretly admire him and wanted to play just like him. He never expressed his desire to john but john could easily sense it. John realized that David wants to be like him. He often discussed piano sessions with David. David now became confident to tell john that he wants to be like him.
He expressed john that he admires him. But he didn’t have courage to play piano in front of him as he assumed that john would laugh at him or think what a poor player he is.
John encouraged him to play and started supporting him. He in fact corrects David’s mistakes and appreciated his efforts.
Now David is one of the finest player of piano in the class and surprisingly he owes his success to John. Whereas john now feels more confident as he has mastered the skills with David’s success.
Lets take the story with another view.
David wanted to learn how to play piano. He had a classmate named john. John was a wonderful piano player. David was very jealous of john and used to secretly back bite his performance and always wanted to be better than john. His aim was not to excel in the area of piano but rather defeat john.
He could never express this to john but john could sense it. John also felt disheartened seeing this.
He also started ignoring David. Now David feels insecure to play in front of john assuming that john will make fun of him or react awfully on his performance.
Situation got worst now no one is happy.
Do you realize what happens when jealousy comes in?
Similarly you come across some one really better than you. Admire him. Learn from him rather than running away. Because if you run away from him/her you are actually running away from learning too.
If you like something in someone, tell him/her. Tell them how good you feel about it and you will also like to do the same in future. May be the same color car or a house like that even vocabulary like that. Everything in life is inspired from something or the other.
If you need what they have then be like them, not opposite of them. Be in alignment of what you want to receive. Jealousy keeps you away from it. So better admire.
What if they show off purposely and are arrogant?
That’s a very good point. Showing off purposely means they are actually working visibly hard to prove that they are better than you. It makes your job easier and now you know that this person is seeking attention. You want to learn and he needs attention. So go ahead give him what he needs and take what you want from him.
You can admire them and have teachers all around you. Teachers to support you, encourage you and appreciate you. It’s like free patronizing. Cool, isn’t it.
How can I polish my vocabulary?
MY VOCABULARY
That’s the actual point.
Ok just read this word and tell me what image do you see in your mind.
DOG
Did you see something. Now ask your friend to read and imagine. Do you both see the same dog. Is the image identical. Not really
This was just to prove that how different your minds are.
When your MIND is different so your THOUGHTS.
Different THOUGHTS means different FEELINGS
Different FEELINGS means different WORDS to express those feelings.
Then isn’t injustice to teach common vocabulary notes to a bunch if so discreet students.
You have your own vocabulary and you just need to activate this.
How many persons do you know by face, their numbers, and histories, past and so on. I am sure hundreds then why can’t you remember some 500 words to speak fluently.
You can. You easily can its just that you need to realize your potential.
I want the toughest vocabulary.
Why do you want that? Do you want that people should not be able to understand you?
Then don’t speak anything or simply become a mystery. We speak to express ourselves and what is the use of speaking when no one can understand us.
Job of language is bind people together not to provide a pseudo status.
Aristotle said: when a sender sends a message it is his responsibility to design it in such a way that the receiver can easily understand it.
If receiver fails to understand then sender surely is responsible for that.
So would you like to be a failure? Certainly not. Most read novels are often written in the simplest language patterns with easy to understand vocabulary.
So have simple yet clear vocabulary that should be your priority.
Speak to please and express. What you speak represents you so be cautious.
Prince gera
pardon the spelling errors
Monday, June 14, 2010
when you feel really low about your self esteem
float out of your body and see yourself from your loved ones eyes. see why they love you and why what would make them feel good about you and how would they feel to be with you..
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